I have worked with plenty of incredible leaders who know what good leadership looks like. They know how to actively listen, communicate to engage not just inform, coach without taking over, and stay measured when something goes wrong.
But knowing how we want to lead and actually doing it under pressure are two different things.
Think about that difficult conversation you’ve been meaning to have, but you keep putting it off because you never feel quite ready. When you finally decide to squeeze in it between your competing demands, it does not go well. Or perhaps an organizational update falls flat because you were given little to no time to share it, much less explain what it means for your team. And to add fuel to the fire, you didn’t keep your emotions in check when you discovered a team member was going on vacation and it was going to delay a big project.
These situations don’t necessarily mean you lack skill or good intentions. In fact, you may know exactly what a better response would look like. But pressure and stress take over and we tend to react without thought. We focus on relieving the immediate discomfort, solving the problem, or getting something off our plate (Ahem).
So, what can we do differently?
When you notice that pressure is beginning to drive your response, step back long enough to ask yourself:
- What matters most right now? Before a difficult conversation, your thoughts about this question might help you set aside a week’s worth of fire-fighting to think about what other’s most need to understand or need from you right now.
- Which leadership approach do I already know would help here? This question prompts you to access what you already know about listening, communicating, coaching, setting expectations, or making a thoughtful decision.
- How do I want to show up while I handle it? This question asks you to consider your demeanor. Do you need to be more curious, measured, direct, patient, or reassuring?
These questions can be applied to almost any leadership situation.
None of this requires an hour of reflection. Sometimes you may have only a few minutes. The goal is not to slow everything down. It is to create enough space to respond intentionally instead of the pressure to choose your response for you.
Leaders do not always need another framework or technique. They need more room in their day to reconnect with the judgment, leadership practices, and presence they already have.
These days that is a tall order. And if you have followed my work for any length of time, you know I believe we have gone too far in what we expect leaders to carry. Changing those expectations is part of the answer. So is helping leaders recognize when pressure is beginning to change the way they communicate, make decisions, and respond to the people around them.
Even a brief pause can help us lead more like the leader we intend to be.
When the pressure is on and you’re at full capacity, what part of good leadership is hardest to hold on to?
A note for L&D, HR, and talent leaders
For those who support leaders inside organizations, this question has shaped much of what I have been working on: How do we make it easier for leaders to use what they know in the middle of messy work day.
That thinking led me to create The AI-Boosted Leader, a purpose-built leadership execution platform that gives leaders just-in-time support applying proven practices to the work already in front of them. It is now available to organizations that want to extend the value of leadership development into the everyday work of leading.
Learn more about The AI-Boosted Leader for organizations here.
Until next time,
Sara
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