If you’ve been married or had a significant other for any length of time, you probably know a thing or two about conflict resolution. One person asks, “What’s wrong?” The other abruptly replies, “Nothing” or “I’m fine.” Based on the tone of voice, everything is clearly…ahem…not fine.
That common exchange signals some brewing conflict without actually addressing it. The phrases might delay the inevitable confrontation, but they don’t resolve the underlying issue. Instead, the problem gets tucked away, only to resurface later, often with more intensity.
The same dynamic can play out at work. As a leader, it’s your job to spot the impending conflict and take action to correct it.
Easier said than done, I know. When you notice signs of defensiveness, discontent, or avoidance among team members, it might be tempting to hope the issue will resolve itself, especially when you’re busy managing other priorities. But leaving it to chance isn’t a viable strategy. The longer you wait to address conflict, the more it can erode team dynamics, delay deliverables, and ultimately impact the team’s overall performance.
So, what type of strategies can you use to effectively handle conflict once you’ve identified it? Here’s a step-by-step guide that may be helpful.
- Meet individually with each employee
Start by meeting privately with each employee involved in the conflict. This allows them to speak openly without the pressure of the other person present. You might say, “I’ve noticed some tension between you and [the other employee], and I’d like to hear your perspective. Can you help me understand what’s been happening?”
Keep the tone neutral, and set aside any preconceived notions about who you might suspect is at fault. Approach the conversation with a genuine interest in objectively uncovering both sides of the story.
- Identify the root cause
After listening to each employee, take time to evaluate the situation and determine the root of the problem. Figure out what is really driving the disagreement. Is it a communication disconnect, a misunderstanding, or a clash of working styles? Pinpointing the core issue is crucial for finding effective solutions.
- Bring the employees together
Approach the employees experiencing the conflict and ask them, “Are you open to coming together to discuss a way forward?” If both parties agree, schedule a time for a facilitated discussion.
Start by setting the tone: “I appreciate both of you being here. Let’s work through the friction that’s been happening and find a solution that feels fair and works well for everyone involved.” Using what you have determined may be the cause of the problem, you can frame the conversation to highlight that area.
You might begin with something like this: “Based on what I’ve heard from both of you, I believe it’s important to focus on [specific issue] to keep this conversation as productive as possible. I want to make sure we’re addressing the core problem to avoid getting sidetracked.”
- Encourage collaborative problem-solving
The key to success for this discussion will be getting the employees to openly share their thoughts and ideas without allowing it to turn into a finger-pointing competition. Try asking open-ended questions to invite them into the conversation. “What do you think would help to resolve this issue?” or “Are there things the two of you could do to prevent this from happening in the future?”
As the leader and facilitator, you can make sure both employees have an opportunity to participate in the conversation and feel heard. Do your best to keep the focus on solutions rather than rehashing the problem. And if you sense the temperature rising, don’t hesitate to step in and neutralize the situation by reminding them of the common goal.
- Ensure agreement and commitment
Once a solution is proposed, make sure both employees agree on that outcome. Does it feel fair and reasonable? More importantly, ask for their commitment to consistently deploy that solution for the good of the team. Getting that buy-in will significantly reduce the likelihood of hearing comments like “never mind” or “whatever” in the future.
- Follow up to ensure lasting resolution
As you know, one meeting isn’t a complete and perfect cure for conflict. People are going to disagree about what needs to be done and how best to do it. That’s just human nature! But you’ll have a better chance of sustaining your employees’ commitment to work together harmoniously if you check in with them regularly.
After a few weeks, reach out to them separately with a question like this: “How are things going since our last discussion?” Listen closely to their perceptions of the situation. Are both of them making an effort?
By following up, you’re demonstrating your investment in their job satisfaction while reminding them of the conflict-resolution strategies they discussed. This approach reinforces the need for collaboration and increases your odds of making a positive impact.
What successful strategies have you used to resolve conflict among employees? I’d love to hear about them!
Until next time,
